Fit Fare

Editor’s Note: Welcome our newest columnist, Kate Ford, to the Fit Fare family. Kate is entering her first holiday season as a post-operative weight loss surgery patient. Look for her continuing series on the third Tuesday of every month. 

I’m preparing to attend my first Thanksgiving Dinner this year as a post-operative weight loss surgery (WLS) patient.  I had RNY (Gastric Bypass) surgery in May 2006 and have lost over 100 pounds to date – thirty pounds in the year leading up to surgery, and seventy plus pounds since May.

I’m not dreading my first Thanksgiving Dinner as a WLS “post-op.”  If anything, I have many reasons to be grateful this season; chief among them is my renewed health.   I find I’m a loner in my attitude, however.  Many of my weight loss surgery peers don’t look forward to the stress of attending a food-centric event where they claim they “cannot eat anything.”   Several tell me they plan to stay away all together; others tell me they will eat a bit and likely go into another room and cry, until everyone is finished.  

I am sympathetic to the struggle many have in separating the event from the food, but I don’t understand it.  There are many ways to enjoying an event without giving in to the triggers which cause overeating.  This is a stress factor that post-operatives share with anyone with special dietary needs, actually.   How do you enjoy a dinner at the home of family and friends, when you’re following a special diet (or in my case, eating very small amounts)?

Here are a few tips for those who may find themselves in a similar situation:

Be Thankful, Not Hungry.  This may sound trite, but it’s apt.  The Thanksgiving holiday is a time for us to remark on blessings and give thanks.  Try to count those blessings, and not the number of marshmallows you scrape off your yams.

Brown Bag It.   Pack a nutritious meal of what you can eat and enjoy, if you genuinely fear there will be nothing you can consume at a holiday meal.  Take care of yourself, first, and make your packed meal as flavorful and attractive as that which will served to other guests. Garnish, and serve yourself on a beautiful plate.

Play Waitress.  One of the problems with being a WLS post-op is you are nearly always finished eating before everyone else. The time element in eating a meal becomes your enemy. While others continue to dine, you find yourself picking and eating more than you intended, or drawing attention to how little you’ve consumed.  For that reason, when you are finished eating, stand up and offer to refill beverage glasses.  Clear away used dishes or offer to refill empty serving dishes.  Help the hostess organize the disaster in the kitchen so that he or she can sit and enjoy her meal — remember how rare that was when you cooked the meal?  Mingle and move, and the hostess will love you for it.

Compliment the Saboteurs.   When you are losing weight on a healthy eating plan, your success can trigger feelings of inadequacy or betrayal in friends and family.  They may feel uncomfortable that you are taking control of a health issue they could use a little help with, as well.   You may have been the “eating buddy” of your cousin, and she’s upset there is no one to raid the leftovers, with.  “Have just one bite, it won’t hurt you” is a common refrain.  Try to gently turn away the saboteurs with a compliment: “I already know you make the best stuffing in the world, so I couldn’t possibly stop with one bite, but thank you.”

Deflect Aggression.  If the saboteur persists and attacks you for wanting to stay healthy, or vegan, or “on your crazy plan” during a holiday meal, whether it’s calling you nutty for going vegan this year, or remarking that you’re crazy to have had “that surgery”, or “you can take a day off your diet, it won’t kill you”, remind this person very simply:   “I want to succeed on this health plan, and I know despite what you just said, you love me enough to want me to succeed, as well.”    A hug and a kiss on the cheek will seal the deal.  “Besides” you’ll add, “I want to be as good looking as you, more than I want that pie.”

Get Off the Pulpit.  Give your family and friends a break, as well. Don’t become the Food Police and remark how fattening all the side dishes are, how many calories are in the potatoes, how much or how little you can eat of what’s being offered, or how Aunt Sally is going for a third helping of cornbread.  No one is more unpleasant to be around than a rabid dieter who has memorized the calorie charts.

Play to the Crowd.  Use humor to deflect and change the often unwelcome focus on your newly healthy eating habits.  I recently remarked to well-meaning friends who wouldn’t stop offering me “one more bite” that in my case, I was able to use the phrase “my eyes are bigger than my stomach” and actually mean it.

Best wishes to all FitFare readers, for a satisfying holiday.

Kate

Photo courtesy of http://www.freeimages.co.uk/.